I’m Here – Now What?

Here I am! I made it! My job back in Toronto is officially behind me, and my belongings are all in a trailer in my grandparents driveway in a new province.

Let me tell you, it still feels weird, and – especially on the job front – like I’m just on vacation (a vacation I packed way too much for, apparently).

For the last six years, I lived, basically, for my job. I was on 24/7. I always had my work phone on me. Even on vacation. So it’s a strange feeling not having it – not having to be ready to solve problems at any second of the day. I’m sure in time this will be nice, but right now, it’s like part of me is missing.

Dramatic, I know.

For the most part, my stress of the last few months has seemingly subsided. Which is great, except the tension leaving my neck muscles is causing me weird reverse-tension headaches.

I also would benefit from a hibernation for approximately six days, as no matter how much I sleep, I’m still exhausted. Last week was a whole lot, emotionally, and I definitely need some recovery time.

Speaking of recovery – I’ll be spending some time in a charcoal mask this weekend… stress is not a good time for the ol’ face.

I digress.

Now that I’m home, and unemployed, I’ve definitely got some soul searching to do. I have quite a bit of experience in Project Management now (which is what I was doing in Ontario), but is that what I want to do going forward? I have no ties, really, and I do have a safety net here. I could do anything I want – exciting right?

For me, not so much. Where would I even start?

Maybe I’m not built for any more years of the 24/7 work schedule – or maybe I’m just not ready to jump back in to that.

But, would I be bored or unfulfilled if I was at a normal 9-5 office job?

What if I took a turn and did something unorthodox? (Unorthodox to my career trajectory thus far, I should say) Would I be happy with that, or would I feel less “successful”.

I will say for sure that it is a scary thought to be 28 years old and really not sure what you want to do in life. You see some people that are 17, 18, 19 who are so certain on what they want. Or, people into their 30s, 40s working their asses off to reach their goals. I don’t know that I have dreams, or goals. Am I alone on that?

Maybe I’ve just lost sight of them.

I have been fully dedicated to my work since I was 22 years old. I’m not exaggerating when I say it was my whole life – I worked, I came home and did more work, and if I went out it was with my friends from work. So maybe, when I was throwing myself into my job, I lost sight of me and what I really wanted.

Maybe some time away from that will help me decompress, and reevaluate my goals – and myself overall.

I did decide to learn upholstery today, for some reason. I’m sure I’ll keep you all posted on how that goes.

So, I made it home. First step is over with. Now it’s time to restart my life.

Wish me luck.

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