It’s here! It’s finally here! The last day of 2019 – the last day of the DECADE!
I, for one, can’t believe.
The 2010s were a wild ride, man. I graduated University, moved provinces (twice), changed careers (twice), and – most importantly – got a dog. But above all of that, the 2010s gave us bops. Jams. Bangers. Whatever the kids call them these days. My friends call me a variety of music related things – DJ Jazzy Jess, Jukebox Jess… to name a few. I am (in my friend group) the go-to music person. This is a bit strange if I’m honest because I have no musical talent whatsoever, and solid heap of my friends are musicians. But that’s besides the point. What I’m trying to say is – I’ve got some playlist cred. So, whether you are looking for some playlist inspo for your New Years Party this evening, or just want a fun reminder of all the fist-pumping party anthems of the early 2010s – here is my list of my top ten favourite popular songs from each of the last ten years. Of course, this is all just for fun. I am definitely not an expert.
I always thought I wanted stability. A stable career, stable relationships – a stable life. But, thinking about this earlier (in the shower – you know, where all the best thoughts emerge), stability is not at all what I want. The stable life that I’ve been trying to manifest would not, in practicality, fulfill me at all. I should have known this all along, really (Sagittarius squad, what’s up). But it’s what I thought I wanted – stability, as I imagined it, would be the thing that eased my anxiety. All this time spent trying to manifest stability, and not once did I really sit down and think about it.
And Ten Other Things That Are Getting Me Through This December
Hi, everyone. My name is Jess and I am an Marshmallow Santa addict. There is just something about those cheap, dark chocolate covered marshmallow blobs that bear absolutely no resemblance whatsoever to the advertised shape of a Santa that I really cannot get enough of. Seriously. I’ve had one every day this December, and some days (ahem, today) I’ve had several. Is it the worst problem to be encountering this month? Definitely not. Really, when you think about it, December is arguably the most stressful month of the year. So if I want to consume more marshmallow than vegetables, what are you gonna do about it? Self care, man! (Except absolutely not at all. Please Future Jess, eat some damn vegetables)
Now, no one panic. Today’s post is not going to be about all the nutrients that I am most definitely lacking right now (I’ll save that for January) – instead, I want to look at ten other (arguably healthier) things that have been helping me get through this month.
2019, man. What a journey. At it’s best, it was a year of incredible self discovery – a year of reinvention, of returning to my roots, and re-prioritizing what is important to me. At it’s worst, it was a whole heap of agonizing life-changing decisions, soul crushing job searching, and pretty solidly some of my lowest depressions I’ve ever gone through. (What a fun and uplifting way to start this post!) Good news – I’m not here to dwell on that (I did that a couple weeks ago). Nope. Today, I’m looking ahead. It’s 2020 time, baby! This post is going to be a run-down of the six things that I’m going to be doing next year to make sure I’m the version of me that I want to be – the me I lost track of over the past couple years. Sound good? Let’s go, then!
Happy Birthday to me! I’m presently eating candy for breakfast like the grown ass woman I am. And as I sit here, I’m reflecting on the last year of my life, remembering how tough it was on me. It was one of the most trying years I’ve ever had. It was filled with some of the darkest times – the most gut wrenching and hopeless – that I’ve ever gone through. I’ve made several difficult and life changing decisions. I’ve also made some of my biggest mistakes and some of my biggest fears were realized. But as I sit here now, I’m wondering to myself – do I give a shit about all that? Is any of that worth the energetic toll to keep carrying it around with me?
To say that how I’m feeling right now is shocking is an understatement. I’ve always been one of those people that carry their hurt around like a personality trait. “I’m not good enough because X person said this about me in 2004”, or “Karma is going to catch up to me for X mistake so it’s best that I don’t get my hopes up”. Not that I’m overly open about this, mind you. This, like all of our most positive and reaffirming thoughts, solely comes out in conversations only with myself. A self that I’ve been trying really hard lately to heal – and I think today is a breakthrough in that.
I don’t give a shit anymore about the experiences of hurt that I’ve had in the past 29 years. I don’t give a shit about the word for word, detail for detail, re-enactments of those moments that I’ve been playing out in my head for so long – sorry but those recordings are burnt out.