2019, man. What a journey. At it’s best, it was a year of incredible self discovery – a year of reinvention, of returning to my roots, and re-prioritizing what is important to me. At it’s worst, it was a whole heap of agonizing life-changing decisions, soul crushing job searching, and pretty solidly some of my lowest depressions I’ve ever gone through. (What a fun and uplifting way to start this post!) Good news – I’m not here to dwell on that (I did that a couple weeks ago). Nope. Today, I’m looking ahead. It’s 2020 time, baby! This post is going to be a run-down of the six things that I’m going to be doing next year to make sure I’m the version of me that I want to be – the me I lost track of over the past couple years. Sound good? Let’s go, then!
1 – Filling in my Eyebrows, and Other Self Care Things
As you can imagine by the gloom I presented in the first paragraph, taking care of myself or putting any sort of effort into my appearance on a regular basis was FAR from the priority in the last year. Now, I’m not a high maintenance kind of gal to begin with. I mean, I shave my legs like once a quarter (TMI, maybe. Why I’m single? Probably). But there is just something about knowing that you took extra time out of your day to make yourself look great that just feels good.
A friend of mine shared with me recently that even on days where she’s really going through it, she commits five minutes to something she doesn’t really feel like doing but she knows will make her feel better. Whether it’s doing her hair, or going for a walk. And I mean, what do you have to lose? It’s five minutes! I loved this concept for a lot of reasons. Mostly because when you’re down, the last thing you want to do is do anything for yourself. But, even on my worst days I can commit to five minutes for me. Even if that’s just filling in the brows.
It’s not self-centered to put effort into your appearance. Maybe if you have a hired glam squad come to your house every morning. But hey, if it makes you happy – who am I to judge? Making yourself feel good is always important. It sets the tone for your day. And, it’s something I want to use to set the tone for my new year.
2 – Setting Boundaries For Myself (From Myself)
I am not a self disciplined individual these days. Which is honestly shocking considering I practiced martial arts for like 7 years when I was younger. But, over the past few years of being financially reckless, wasting all my free time doing diddly squat and eating whatever I want, I’ve gotten in the habit of allowing myself to do whatever impulsive shit I want to do in the moment. And that, my friends, is not a good way to be.
It’s so common to hear people talk about setting boundaries when you’re dealing with other people. But for me, I kind of have the opposite problem, where the only person I need to set boundaries from is my own damn self.
So, next year, I am going to retrain myself, and regain that self discipline that I had when I was younger. I’m going to set boundaries for my spending, for my junk food eating, my YouTube watching. This is not going to be a fun time, let’s be honest. But without setting guidelines for myself – well, I pretty much don’t need to write out the rest of this list.
3 – Living In The Moment
Okay, this does seem contradictory to the whole “set boundaries for myself so I don’t continue being an impulsive maniac” thing I said a second ago, but it’s not – trust me.
I am constantly thinking about the future. Whether or not I’m going to be okay in ten years, or what my retirement is going to look like. Sometimes, when I’m out with people I get so wrapped up in the impact that being out at that second is having on my life that I forget to actually pay attention to the moment I’m in. Now, to clarify (as you can tell by my last point) this is all anxiety without any action to reduce it as again, I am an impulsive disaster. But I’m working on it, okay?
It seems strange that I need to even put this on the list. “Living in the moment” seems like something that should just come naturally. But, really, when you think about it, my worrying is someone else’s “doing it for the ‘gram”. We’re all a little out of touch with reality these days. But I don’t want to let the next decade pass me by without paying attention to it (you know, like I’ve done for the last two). So this year, I intend to practice presence. To actively participate in my life, rather than let it skate on by.
4 – Stop Being Such A Damn Hermit (But Understanding It’s Okay to Be Sometimes)
Listen, okay. When I tell you I’ve had no social life the past six months, I mean it. And for the most part, that’s been exactly what I needed. There was a whole bunch of healing that needed to be done to fix what toxic relationships and friendships without boundaries had damaged in my “past life”. These are things I moved away from to fix. So when I moved, I was in no rush to put myself out there and make new friends or anything like that. I had to figure me out first.
But you know, it’s been six months now. And I’m starting to feel up to being social again, and reintegrating myself into society (that sounds dramatic enough). So, next year, I need to start prioritizing putting myself out there. Finding people on the same vibe as me. Because the better life I moved for isn’t sitting at home by myself all the time.
I do also know, however, that it is equally important for me to allow myself the freedom to be able to hermit at home regularly to recharge. I’m way to socially anxious to be social on the reg without plenty of downtime. Ya girl just needs to find the balance that works and stick to that.
5 – Practicing Gratitude & Positivity
Preface: Spellcheck is not recognizing “Positivity” as a word, and I’ve never been more self-conscious.
Gratitude and positivity are two things that again, I would have thought would have come naturally. And they were quintessential parts of who I was growing up. But, the environment I had been in over the past six years really affected that in me. Having a positive outlook, and being grateful are invaluable to having a happy life. Whether you believe in the law of attraction or not, I truly do believe that good things happen to those that appreciate it. To those that quietly expect good things to happen because there is so much good to be found in the world.
It’s hard though, man. It is so much easier to slip into negative thoughts. Especially in a world that focuses so much on competition, and flexing your assets. It takes practice to be able to sit back, be grateful for what you have while looking positively to where you’re going. And this is a practice I need to get back into.
6 – Continuous Learning
Yes, I’m a nerd. What do you want me to do about it? Learning is my favourite thing to do. Like, if I had the option, I would just be a professional student forever So, rounding off this list is just that. Whether it’s reading a new book, figuring out how to make those swear-word cross stitches, or who knows – maybe I’ll take a French class or something. Regardless of what I’m learning, all I know is I want to put the ol’ brain to work.
Learning really is the summary of this whole list, because in essence, the first five things were just different tools that I plan on using to learn more about myself and my potential. I started to figure this out this year, so I can only imagine what I’ll sort out in 2020.
It’s a new decade, and I feel kind of geeky being as excited for it as I am. 2020 just seems like it’s going to be a good year. I have a lot of faith in it and, clearly, also in myself.
It’s going to be good. Especially because of my commitment to positive thinking.
That was my list, guys! Do you have any specific goals for 2020? How was your 2019? Are you also a nerd who friggen LOVES learning? Do you have any swear word cross stitch tips? Let me know in the comments!