The Universe, man. It really is a funny character. With how things are going in my life lately, it’s honestly like the Universe is dangling exactly what I want in front of me, and snatching it away before I could get to it – like a constant stream of “oh, bitch you thought!”. I understand this sounds negative, but I really don’t look at it that way. To me, every “missed opportunity” or “missed connection” is simply the Universe moving that thing out of the way to make room for what you really need, when you’re ready to receive it. Now, the Universe must think I’m a good sport because it’s really been teasing me – but, every time it does, it’s like it follows it up with exactly why it did and I can’t help but laugh about it.
A while ago, I met this really great guy. He seemed perfect for me, and for the first time in my 29 years of life I found myself having a crush on a good guy! Which was a nice departure from the emotionally unavailable “bad guys” with their lives 0% together that I usually go for. After years of being single, I thought maybe this was the universe giving me my man. Spoiler alert – this was not the case. A friend of mine found out last weekend that he seeing someone else (I knew there was something about him I liked!). I wasn’t heartbroken by any means but obviously a little disappointed. But, it was Saturday and I was going to the club for my friend’s birthday that night so who had time to worry about that!
So we’re at the club and I see this guy that works in the same building as me. Now, the first time I saw this man I legitimately said “Holy Smokes” out loud as he walked passed me. That’s how good looking this guy is. Anyway, nothing happens – we wave at each other, it’s cool – and let’s be real, if he tried to flirt with me I’d probably pass out. The point is I haven’t seen him since the Holy Smokes incident, but conveniently, here he is on this disappointing day.
This has been the trend for the whole week. I hadn’t seen my work crush for a while, but all of a sudden I’m running into him regularly. Today, I had to help out a guy who I hadn’t seen for a few months – where the first time I had to help him I accidentally grabbed his hand instead of what he was handing me – and things went significantly smoother today.
All of this is to say that sure, it didn’t work out with the “good” guy from a couple weeks ago. But I have no idea what the Universe actually has in store for me. Maybe it’s one of the guys it’s thrown into my path this week – who knows!
Work is another example of the Universe teasing me. If you’ve been around the blog for a while, you might be familiar with my job searching struggles. Last year, I left a highly demanding, stressful, corporate job to move home to family. Needless to say, when you move back to a small(er) city, the job market is hard to break into. So right now, I’m in a “temporary” job until I find something better.
A couple times over the past six months, I’ve been really close (seemingly) to getting a better job. I’ve gone through several rounds of interviews and when everything seems promising, something happens. But it’s never just that the position was given to another applicant – once, the person that the position would have been replacing decided not to quit, and there were a few times where the company changed their minds on needing the position in the first place. It’s been a wild ride, man, I’m telling ya.
It’s so easy when job hunting to get caught up in the disappointment of it all. Constant rejection is not a fun thing to deal with. And there were many times over the past few months where I had to shift my perspective on it. Because I knew I was a good candidate, so why was nothing working out?
Well, the first would-have-been job would have started three days after I moved home. Now looking back, I know I didn’t get that job because I wasn’t ready for a new career job yet. I had a whole lot to heal from after my last work (and life) experience and jumping right back into something would have been a terrible idea. One of the others would have been for a management team that from what I can tell would have been a nightmare to deal with and that was the opposite of what I wanted.
In all of these situations, it’s really easy to be negative. Things aren’t turning out the way you had expected. You didn’t get the job you wanted, or the boy you wanted, and everything must be working against you. But what if things aren’t working against you but instead are working for you? What if that job you didn’t get but you wanted so bad was for a company that’ll have to downsize in a year? That boy you liked? He probably picks his nose at the dinner table or some shit like that. You don’t know how that version of your life would have turned out, and you don’t need to because the version of your life that you thought you wanted – the one you had imagined for yourself – isn’t always the greatest one. But we’ll never now for sure, will we?
So what if everything that you think is a disappointment, or the times where things don’t go your way – what if it’s just moving what you don’t need out of the way to make room for the good? The actual good – not just the “good” we think we want in the moment.
Sure, things aren’t working out exactly how you wanted them to. But what if that’s because everything might turn out better than you ever could have imagined it would?
Isn’t that a better way to look at it?