The 2020 To-Do List

2019, man. What a journey. At it’s best, it was a year of incredible self discovery – a year of reinvention, of returning to my roots, and re-prioritizing what is important to me. At it’s worst, it was a whole heap of agonizing life-changing decisions, soul crushing job searching, and pretty solidly some of my lowest depressions I’ve ever gone through. (What a fun and uplifting way to start this post!) Good news – I’m not here to dwell on that (I did that a couple weeks ago). Nope. Today, I’m looking ahead. It’s 2020 time, baby! This post is going to be a run-down of the six things that I’m going to be doing next year to make sure I’m the version of me that I want to be – the me I lost track of over the past couple years. Sound good? Let’s go, then!

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Twenty Nine

Happy Birthday to me! I’m presently eating candy for breakfast like the grown ass woman I am. And as I sit here, I’m reflecting on the last year of my life, remembering how tough it was on me. It was one of the most trying years I’ve ever had. It was filled with some of the darkest times – the most gut wrenching and hopeless – that I’ve ever gone through. I’ve made several difficult and life changing decisions. I’ve also made some of my biggest mistakes and some of my biggest fears were realized. But as I sit here now, I’m wondering to myself – do I give a shit about all that? Is any of that worth the energetic toll to keep carrying it around with me?

To say that how I’m feeling right now is shocking is an understatement. I’ve always been one of those people that carry their hurt around like a personality trait. “I’m not good enough because X person said this about me in 2004”, or “Karma is going to catch up to me for X mistake so it’s best that I don’t get my hopes up”. Not that I’m overly open about this, mind you. This, like all of our most positive and reaffirming thoughts, solely comes out in conversations only with myself. A self that I’ve been trying really hard lately to heal – and I think today is a breakthrough in that.

I don’t give a shit anymore about the experiences of hurt that I’ve had in the past 29 years. I don’t give a shit about the word for word, detail for detail, re-enactments of those moments that I’ve been playing out in my head for so long – sorry but those recordings are burnt out.

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Basic Bitch Banana Bread

The Story of Why I Can’t Be A Food Blogger

What’s up everybody! Welcome back to Cooking with Jess! Except not actually – if you knew how often I used Skip The Dishes in my Toronto past life you’d know I don’t cook nearly enough to sustain a cooking blog (or you know, a healthy and well nourished lifestyle). This is something I plan on working on though. Stay tuned for that in a future post.

Today is a special occasion however – I am baking banana bread. Which is not necessarily abnormal in the overall scheme of my 28.5 years of life. It’s my favourite recipe, and full disclosure, I have in the past bought bananas strictly to let them get brown to make bread with. I have no idea where this recipe came from beyond the fact that it’s in my grandma’s handwriting and for all I know it could be the most basic bitch banana bread recipe that’s ever existed (which is for sure what I’m calling this post). But, because it is the most delicious thing in the world I thought I’d share the recipe with you!

Well – that’s mostly true. I also seem to lose it constantly, and seems how I spent a solid 45 minutes looking through all my packed boxes and every notebook that I have ever written in to find it, I thought I’d put it in a place that I could never lose it again – the internet.

(I also had another post that I planned to write today, but with banana bread baking I can literally not concentrate on anything else)

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